Happy New Year!

I don't want to make a cheesy, cliche Facebook post about how good 2014 has been and how amazing 2015 will be so I'll blog about it!

On 18th December 2013 my Mum was diagnosed with Breast Cancer so 2014 looked really awful and I didn't think I'd have my Mum with me by the end of the year. She's been amazing and so so strong! I don't know how she has done it or coped with it. I love her so much!

So much has happened this year, like starting to go out with the girls from college more and just relaxing rather than stressing out about college. In my first year of college I didn't get the grades that truly reflected my abilities but I was proud because my teachers didn't think I'd even complete the year! Actually getting grades and proving them wrong makes me so happy and I have so much to look forward to this year because of that.

I cannot wait to start university in September! I am working my butt off this year and planning every detail so that I am prepared. My anxiety hasn't been so overwhelming in the last few months which I'm grateful for but I know by the time exams and results and summer come around, it will flair up again. I just need to find some strategies to make it easier to cope with. (Any advice?)

As I've said before, I have lots of plans for 2015 and I am so excited! I can't wait to see what this year holds and the memories that I will make.

There's a few things I definitely want to do this year:

• Take a photograph of myself every day to see how much I change
• Wear more make up and style my hair differently
• Dye my hair (lighter but I don't know what colour yet)
• Be more confident academically and socially

I think that's it for now!

Have a brilliant 2015 and I'll see you on the flip side!

Kazia x

Christmas is coming!

Are you excited for Christmas?

Personally, this year I don't feel very excited for Christmas even though it is Christmas Eve and omg Santa will be delivering all the presents tonight!

I don't know why it is but it doesn't feel like December at all! Maybe it's because there's no snow this year or that Mum has gone to London and Kent to visit her family instead of being home with me. . . (I don't even live with my Mum anymore but I want her to be home for Christmas)

This year has flown by and maybe it's because it has been a year since Mum was diagnosed with Breast Cancer (18th December 2013) that I don't feel festive or the fact I was in hospital two days ago or maybe it's because I'm growing up and the magic of Christmas is starting to fade or because for the first time in years my brother will be with us for Christmas but Mum won't be.

I miss our Christmas traditions - me, Oliver, Mum and Dad. Oliver would wake up really early and we'd both open our stockings that were on the end of our beds before our parents got up. We'd go downstairs and show them what we got then after breakfast we'd go to the Church service. After our Christmas lunch we'd open some more presents and then sit around the TV to watch Doctor Who! Everyone was happy and I never thought it would end! I wish it hadn't ended. . .

Just a short post tonight because I can't sleep so that's it for now,

Kazia x

Achievement!

Firstly, last week I got a conditional offer for the UEA which I am so excited about, so I'll be studying Film and Television in September 2015 so long as I get the grades! 

I am working really hard this year, not only to get into university but also for myself because I have wanted to go to university ever since I started school at the age of five! 

When I was as young as five, I wanted to be an author. I was one of those children that would spend all their time either in the school library, public library or even the mobile library. I would even read at play time and my passion for reading has never stopped, it continues to grow and evolve every day!

Now, at the age of eighteen, I aspire to be a filmmaker. It is very similar to be an author but instead of telling a story with words, it is told through images and video clips. I have always loved to be behind the camera, either as a photographer or making films. When I was younger, I would perform on stage with the other members of the Drama Club at my primary school. It was always exhilarating to walk out onto the stage and see hundreds of people in the audience, waiting in anticipation for the first line to open the show.

I haven't performed in years, mainly because there's been no time and secondly because I lost confidence when I was in high school. It was always the teacher's favourites that got chosen to be in the shows, the ones that the teacher knew outside of school because their parents were part of the school governors. 

My achievements this year have improved dramatically. In my AS Level I achieved, CCDE and now I'm achieving A/B on my essays! I was told when I left high school that A Level grades would be twice as hard to achieve than GCSEs, for example if you got a C in GCSE, it would be the equivalent of an E in A Level. This is partly true because A Levels are obviously much harder but I don't believe it is true for everyone because you can focus on those three/four specific subjects and if you work hard you'll achieve so much. 

Apart from academic success, I've also gained massive amounts of confidence by talking to new people, talking on the phone to strangers I've never met, spending a week with my Geography class in North Wales, going to parties. . . I've got lots of lovely memories from 2014 which I'll treasure and cherish.

That's it for now, 

Kazia x

Zoella!

I've been watching Zoe Sugg AKA Zoella videos for about two years and she has always been a positive and inspirational role model. After finding out she was working on a novel I was unbelievably excited! I loved her blog and this would be an extension of that. But recently, Zoe and her boyfriend Alfie Deyes AKA PointlessBlog had to take a break from the internet when the news came out that Zoe had had a ghostwriter to help her with the book Girl Online.

After hearing the news, I was upset and annoyed that after selling over 700,000 copies in its first work of sales, Zoe couldn't celebrate her success. Obviously, Zoe had to have help, everyone does when they try something new. Zoe is a vlogger and a blogger, she is not primarily a writer, although her blog has such a strong voice that millions of mainly young females can relate to.

I hate that Zoe has been made out to look like a bad person, manipulating her audience to buy a book she didn't write is a horrible idea but I don't believe it's true. I support Zoe 100% and I always will. I hope she isn't feel overwhelmed with the bad press that she has gotten over the past week, she has achieved so much this year!

As a side note, I'd like to add that I also support Connor Franta 100% in his decision to announce that he is gay. I don't believe sexuality should still be an issue, especially in the 21st century. People should be accepted for who they are, no matter what race, gender, religion, sexuality etc. Why should Connor have to come out as gay? Should I come out to my parents as straight? I love Connor's videos and he is another inspirational person. Not only does he have an amazing, genuine personality but also his skills to make videos where he doesn't just sit and talk to a camera but takes it around with him. I aspire to be a filmmaker like Connor.

I think that's it for this post, I love loads of vloggers and I know it may be harder for their younger audiences to understand but making videos on YouTube is their full time jobs and they have to work hard every day to achieve the best they can.

Kazia x

My Passions!

Photography and Film are my biggest passions!

I got really interested in photography when I took my Dad's camera into our garden and started taking photographs of flowers. I enjoyed getting close up to the flowers and capturing rain drops that had fallen on the leaves. Since then, (about 2011) I persuaded my parents to buy me my own DSLR camera and I now have a Canon 1100D. I've even got lenses and filters that I love to experiment with!

I'm currently studying Photography at college which I really enjoy as this year we have to complete a critical investigation that we've chosen. Without a brief, it seems pretty vague and at first I didn't know what topic to choose because you could do just about anything. I chose to investigate churches because I love the beauty and joy that they bring. I wish I could photograph weddings, maybe that is what I'll do in the future...who knows?

I love film - watching films and making them. I enjoy the theory behind the production and the process of brainstorming ideas and story boarding before putting it together and showing it as a successful film. I'm currently studying Media at college and hoping to study Film and Television at university as I would love to become a producer or work on the cameras. Recently, I went to an open day at the University of Bedfordshire and I directed the short film that we had to make about the course. I loved being "thrown in at the deep end" knowing that the five of us would be able to produce a film after knowing each other for about fifteen minutes! 

Two of my short films are on my YouTube channel which I am really proud of. They were the first films I was asked to make at college. I want to continue making films for myself but it's hard to find time in between college and my personal life. It's definitely something I'm planning to make time for in 2015 as making films is something that makes me truly happy.

What are you passionate about? Have your hobbies and interests influence your work or life choices?

That's it for now,

Kazia x

Goals for 2015!

1. Be successful - achieve the grades I want in my A Levels
2. Get accepted at University
3. Do more of what makes me happy

My word for 2015 is positivity.

I want to be more positive in myself and spread positivity by giving people advice.

2015:

February

• BBC Studios Tour in London

August

• A Level Results Day

September

• 19th Birthday
• University?

What are your plans for 2015? What is your word for 2015? What are your goals for 2015?

Kazia x